in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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