do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
