You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize