I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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