What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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