I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Someone shattered a urinal.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
