New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
