Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
