Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize