Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
