is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
