I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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