my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
