So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
