Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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