VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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