if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
