let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize