How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
