How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
