We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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