Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
