I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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