singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
