Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
