after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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