Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there was a trapeze. enough said
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
