i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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