My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
