So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
