So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
