Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
