is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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