I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
