She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
