I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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