i need an iv and a liver transplant
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
