I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We talked him into tasing himself.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
