brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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