Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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