I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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