i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
