That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
