can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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