It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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