I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize