i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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