We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
