Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
