A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
