i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
