Please, let me fuck your mom
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize