That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
