She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
