there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You ruined the universe
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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