Is it because I queefed?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
