So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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