Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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