I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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