Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
