only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We need to get me chipped asap
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
