I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
