but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
