jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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