So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So much Jack, so little girl.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
