Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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